the chairman's journal
Humans have questions about cats. Endless ones. Against my better judgment, I have started writing the answers down. Behaviour, food, care, the odd comparison, and the occasional myth that needs killing. Read whichever failing applies to your household.
cat behaviour
why does my cat knead me
Making biscuits, explained. It is a compliment, claws and all.
why does my cat sleep on me
Trust, warmth, and quiet ownership. You are the safest place in the house.
why does my cat sit on my chest
Warmth, your heartbeat, and a quiet claim of ownership.
why does my cat bite me
Love bites, overstimulation, and the ambush from under the sofa.
why does my cat lick me
Grooming means family. You have been accepted into the group.
why does my cat lick me then bite me
Grooming with teeth, or the polite word for enough. Both, usually.
why does my cat attack my feet
Your ankles are prey. Play aggression, and how to keep your feet.
why does my cat knock things over
A confession about gravity, attention, and editing your shelves.
why does my cat scratch furniture
Not vandalism, a need. How to save the sofa without a fight.
why does my cat get the zoomies
The sudden mad dash, explained, plus how to tame the 3am laps.
why does my cat meow at night
The 3am monologue, decoded, plus how to get your sleep back.
why does my cat chirp
The friendliest noise a cat makes, borrowed from kittenhood.
why does my cat stare at me
What the unblinking watch actually means. Usually food. Sometimes more.
why does my cat stare at the wall
Usually it senses something you cannot. When it is not.
why does my cat headbutt me
Bunting. Affection and ownership in a single firm bump.
why does my cat rub against me
The figure-of-eight greeting. Marking, welcoming, and belonging.
why does my cat show me its belly
A vote of total trust. Not, whatever you think, an invitation.
why does my cat touch my face with its paw
Affection with a small request folded inside it.
why does my cat follow me to the bathroom
The devoted escort, and its strong objection to closed doors.
why does my cat hate closed doors
The paw underneath, the crying, and the outrage. Territory and control.
why does my cat like boxes
If it fits, it sits. Safety, warmth, and real stress relief.
why do cats purr
Contentment, mostly. Sometimes self-comfort. More than one meaning.
why does my cat chatter at birds
The trembling-jaw clicking of a hunt denied by glass.
why does my cat bring me dead animals
A gift, a lesson, or a larder. The grim little offering, explained.
why does my cat ignore me
It heard you. It knows its name. It simply chose silence.
why does my cat wag its tail
The opposite of a dog. Read the swish before it reads you.
why does my cat sit on my keyboard
Warmth, your scent, and the exact centre of your attention.
why does my cat eat grass
Normal, mostly, even when it reappears on the carpet. When to mind it.
why does my cat drool
Happy-drool from a blissful cat, or the kind that means look inside.
why does my cat hide
Usually just being a cat. Sometimes a fear or illness flag.
signs your cat loves you
Slow blinks, headbutts, gifts. The quiet language of a cat's love.
can cats eat...
can cats eat cheese
Not toxic, but lactose is a problem. The honest verdict.
can cats eat chocolate
No. It is genuinely poisonous. The signs, and what to do.
can cats eat grapes
No, and this is a serious one. Toxic, kidney injury, call the vet.
can cats eat chicken
Yes, and most cats would sell you for it. How to serve it safely.
can cats eat eggs
Yes, cooked. A protein-rich treat, with one firm rule.
can cats eat tuna
A little, rarely. Why it must never become a habit.
can cats eat ham
Not toxic, but salty, fatty and processed. Best kept rare.
can cats eat dog food
A stolen bite, fine. A diet of it, never. It lacks taurine.
can cats drink milk
Mostly no. The truth behind the storybook saucer.
can cats eat yogurt
Easier than milk, but plain only and just a taste.
can cats eat bananas
Safe but pointless, and most cats will not touch one.
can cats eat strawberries
Safe in a nibble, pointless otherwise. Cats cannot taste sweet.
can cats eat watermelon
Seedless flesh in crumbs, yes. Seeds and rind, no.
can cats eat bread
Baked, harmless. Raw dough, a genuine emergency.
can cats eat rice
Safe and gentle, but nutritionally beside the point.
can cats eat peanut butter
Not toxic, but a choking risk and sometimes hidden xylitol. Skip it.
can cats eat avocado
The disputed one. Persin, fat and a dangerous stone. A cautious no.
can cats have catnip
Safe, non-addictive, and a third of cats feel nothing at all.
what foods are toxic to cats
The master list of kitchen hazards, and what to do in an emergency.
care & health
why is my cat peeing outside the litter box
Medical first (a blocked male cat is an emergency), then the box, placement and stress.
why does my cat pee on my bed
It feels personal. It almost never is. What it really means.
why is my cat throwing up
Hairballs versus the serious stuff, and the one sign that means a vet today.
why does my cat have hairballs
The undignified by-product of a clean cat, and when to worry.
why is my cat sneezing
Usually a tickle. Sometimes cat flu. How to tell the difference.
signs your cat is in pain
Cats hide it expertly. The subtle signs, and why you are the early warning.
cat in heat
Signs, how long it lasts, the escape risk, and why spaying is the answer.
why does my cat sleep so much
Sixteen hours is normal for a predator. When it is not.
how much should i feed my cat
Feed the body, not the starving act. Portions and body condition.
how long do cats live
Often the late teens or beyond, and the choices that add years.
how to take care of a kitten
Keep the small loud creature alive and raise a cat worth knowing.
how to introduce two cats
Go slowly. The step-by-step for a truce instead of a war.
male vs female cats
The real variable is not the sex. It is neutered versus intact.
myths, killed
why are cats scared of cucumbers
They are not. It is an ambush, and you should stop doing it.
do cats really have nine lives
No. They have one, and a very good set of tools for keeping it.
can cats see in the dark
Not total darkness. But far better than you in the gloom.
do cats always land on their feet
Mostly, yes. But landing feet-first is not landing unharmed.
why do cats have whiskers
Precision instruments, not decoration. Never, ever cut them.
do cats see color
Not black and white. Blues and yellows, muted, and motion first.
do cats dream
Almost certainly, and probably of hunting. The twitching-paw sleep.
do cats hate water
Many dislike a soaking, some love it, and few need a bath at all.
do cats hate the vacuum
This one is largely true, and entirely rational. How to help.
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