the chairman's journal
Humans have questions about cats. Endless ones. Against my better judgment, I have started writing the answers down. Behaviour, food, and the occasional myth that needs killing. Read whichever failing applies to your household.
cat behaviour
why does my cat knead me
Making biscuits, explained. It is a compliment, claws and all.
why does my cat sleep on me
Trust, warmth, and quiet ownership. You are the safest place in the house.
why does my cat meow at night
The 3am monologue, decoded, plus how to get your sleep back.
why does my cat bite me
Love bites, overstimulation, and the ambush from under the sofa.
why does my cat stare at me
What the unblinking watch actually means. Usually food. Sometimes more.
why does my cat knock things over
A confession about gravity, attention, and editing your shelves.
why does my cat headbutt me
Bunting. Affection and ownership in a single firm bump.
why does my cat follow me to the bathroom
The devoted escort, and its strong objection to closed doors.
why does my cat lick me
Grooming means family. You have been accepted into the group.
why does my cat like boxes
If it fits, it sits. Safety, warmth, and real stress relief.
why do cats purr
Contentment, mostly. Sometimes self-comfort. More than one meaning.
why does my cat bring me dead animals
A gift, a lesson, or a larder. The grim little offering, explained.
why does my cat chatter at birds
The trembling-jaw clicking of a hunt denied by glass.
why does my cat scratch furniture
Not vandalism, a need. How to save the sofa without a fight.
why does my cat get the zoomies
The sudden mad dash, explained, plus how to tame the 3am laps.
why does my cat hate closed doors
The paw underneath, the crying, and the outrage. Territory and control.
why does my cat ignore me
It heard you. It knows its name. It simply chose silence.
why does my cat wag its tail
The opposite of a dog. Read the swish before it reads you.
why does my cat sit on my keyboard
Warmth, your scent, and the exact centre of your attention.
why does my cat rub against me
The figure-of-eight greeting. Marking, welcoming, and belonging.
why does my cat stare at the wall
Usually it senses something you cannot. When it is not.
can cats eat...
can cats eat cheese
Not toxic, but lactose is a problem. The honest verdict.
can cats eat chocolate
No. It is genuinely poisonous. The signs, and what to do.
can cats eat chicken
Yes, and most cats would sell you for it. How to serve it safely.
can cats drink milk
Mostly no. The truth behind the storybook saucer.
can cats eat eggs
Yes, cooked. A protein-rich treat, with one firm rule.
can cats eat tuna
A little, rarely. Why it must never become a habit.
can cats eat bananas
Safe but pointless, and most cats will not touch one.
can cats eat bread
Baked, harmless. Raw dough, a genuine emergency.
can cats eat ham
Not toxic, but salty, fatty and processed. Best kept rare.
can cats eat dog food
A stolen bite, fine. A diet of it, never. It lacks taurine.
what foods are toxic to cats
The master list of kitchen hazards, and what to do in an emergency.
care & health
why does my cat have hairballs
The undignified by-product of a clean cat, and when to worry.
why does my cat sleep so much
Sixteen hours is normal for a predator. When it is not.
how long do cats live
Often the late teens or beyond, and the choices that add years.
how to introduce two cats
Go slowly. The step-by-step for a truce instead of a war.
signs your cat loves you
Slow blinks, headbutts, gifts. The quiet language of a cat's love.
why is my cat sneezing
Usually a tickle. Sometimes cat flu. How to tell the difference.
signs your cat is in pain
Cats hide it expertly. The subtle signs, and why you are the early warning.
how much should i feed my cat
Feed the body, not the starving act. Portions and body condition.
myths, killed
why are cats scared of cucumbers
They are not. It is an ambush, and you should stop doing it.
do cats really have nine lives
No. They have one, and a very good set of tools for keeping it.
can cats see in the dark
Not total darkness. But far better than you in the gloom.
do cats always land on their feet
Mostly, yes. But landing feet-first is not landing unharmed.
why do cats have whiskers
Precision instruments, not decoration. Never, ever cut them.
do cats see color
Not black and white. Blues and yellows, muted, and motion first.
do cats dream
Almost certainly, and probably of hunting. The twitching-paw sleep.
do cats hate water
Many dislike a soaking, some love it, and few need a bath at all.
do cats hate the vacuum
This one is largely true, and entirely rational. How to help.
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